Helo0o! i'm krissy and this is my first fanfic (so pleeease be nice-ish) i'm 13 and...i dunno how tall 
er..medium? FINAL FANTASY ROX! so does fntasy square!!! this is baisically my answer to all those 
luvvy duvvy fanfics that i'm sure some people can't stomach (they are good tho!) and um...enjoy! (^-^)

Laydeez Man
An Important Message

Irvine strolled casually towards the cafeteria whistling ‘Ole McDonald’. He pretended to shoot invisible monsters, 
grinned and slung his gun over one shoulder. “Name’s Kinneas, Irvine Kinneas.” He soothed. “Guys?” nobody was to 
be seen. “Shoot!” he cursed. Irvine cleverly ran towards the dorms, looking for squall. “Where are they?” He checked 
the library then the quad. He checked the classroom next the training centre. Irvine had checked all the usual 
hangouts when he remembered they had a meeting with headmaster Cid that morning. “Silly billy!” Irvine chanted as 
he made his way to Cid’s office, stopping occasionally to tilt his hat and eye-up all the cute girls. (Who giggled shyly)

“Ah, Irvine. Little late but still…”
“Oh, Um…” Irvine checked his watch to see it was hours off. “I’ll fix that.”
“Yes, yes. Very little time you see. You must find the others; they have a message, very important indeed. 
Mush!” Cid grabbed his coat and scuttled towards the door. 
Irvine followed him, “They ain’t here though!”
“ Ah yes, they went to Esthar, find them. Must dash!”
“But…”
“No buts, builds character” Cid hurried away.
“What could be THAT important? Ah well, fancy a train ride anyway.” So Irvine rushed to Balamb town in 
order to catch the next train…
…After a long (and boring) train ride, Irvine arrived in Esthar. Nobody had seen his friends so he checked 
Dr Odine’s lab.
“You’re von of ze seed? Vat u vanting?”
“Gooday Doc! Just passin the time o day.” Irvine sighed. “So I’m kinda thirsty ya know?”
Odine beckoned him to sit down and handed him a glass of bubbling, blue liquid.
“Err…thanx Doc but it’s…BLUE and…BUBBLING!” came a rather worried looking Irvine.
“Vat you expect? Ze old man like me? Blue iz good! Drink!”
>GLUG GLUG GLUG<
“You iz feeling okay?”
“Whoa! That’s great Doc!”
“Now zis iz ze love potion.”
“What the-“
“Now don’t do ze worrying.” Odine interrupted. “Just don’t be surprised if ze girlz do ze chase.”
“Yeah…thanx Doc…BYE.” Irvine stumbled outside, slightly confused.

Irvine’s Advantage.
Dr Odine’s secretaries swooped and swooned over Irvine.
“Laydeez.” he said softly.
“Oh Irvie poo! We love you!” they squealed.
He realised that the love portion had something to do with this. Well…that and his dashing good looks.
“Yo Doc! Need some more o that funky potion! Can you get it in cologne?” 
“My potion iz ze working? I have ze cologne kindz!”
“Cool! Thanx Doc!” Irvine forgot what he was there for.
Odine handed Irvine a large bottle of blue cologne. Irvine shook his hand and ran to catch the train home…
…As he scrambled through the crowds of girls dying to sit on his knee, Irvine realised that he could make the library 
girl with the pigtail (who he REALLY liked) love him.
“IRVIE!”
“Hhhey…Selphie.” 
“Lookin good baby!” Quistis cooed.
Irvine explained that he “Must be off.” and that he’d see them all later.
“Dammit! GO AWAY!” he bawled as girls flocked around him. He ran to the library and finally lost the girls. He 
splashed himself in cologne a few times and “One more for luck.”
“Hi there beautiful.” Irvine flirted.
“Hi!” she replied enthusiastically.
“Wanna come for a ride babe?” Irvine suggested. 
“Anything for you!”
Irvine winked slyly as they walked towards the car park. He simply gazed at her while she babbled on about all the 
books they had in the library and how Irvine reminded her of the hunks.
“Well, we’re here!”
“Wow Irvie! Which car is yours?”
“So um, I technically don’t have one but HEY HEY! We could just…borrow one…”
“Oh Irvie that sounds great!”
It was slowly drowning into Irvine how annoying this girl actually was…and what would Selphie do if she found out?
“Maybe we should go see Edea!”
“Sure Irvie baby!”
The library girl was really starting to annoy him by now. He realised that he didn’t even know her name…he didn’t 
want to know either. The girl started groping Irvine so he just stopped the car, got out and left her. To his amazement, 
she didn’t leave the car. 
“SHOWER!” Irvine caught the bus to Balamb town. He had to fight the girls off and then had trouble with their 
boyfriends. “Ahhhh! God bless Balamb!” Irvine was now battered and bruised. He was dying to shower-off all the 
grime from the lovesick girls’ hands and…”Uh oh!” there was more coming his way.
“Waaaaaaah!” Irvine found himself running as hast as he could back to the garden, not looking to see if any loved-up 
zombies were following. Stumbling slightly, Irvine headed towards his dorm “Not again!” Rinoa cornered him
“Irvie! My hunie! Come to mamma!”
“Argh! Nooo” Irvine ran like Forrest Gump to his dorm and hopped in the shower.
“Argh! Son of a gun! Damn potion.” Irvine got quickly dressed and retired to bed…
…”Irvie!” Selphie squeaked.
“I love you Selph!” Irvine smiled.
Nobody seemed to remember the previous day’s events but Irvine really was a laydeez man…
“Zell! I got you some cologne bud!”…
thanq for reading my fanfic all u luvly people! (if anyone even did hehe) i kno the end was a bit rushed so sorry. if u 
wanna comment gigglefest@hehe.com (^o^) thanx!