Touch Of A Feather A FF8 Fanfiction by loose connections Disclaimer: All characters are copyrighted to Squaresoft. Please do not publish this fic without the author's permission. if you want to publish this fic on your site, please e-mail to lionheart_sg@fantasysquare.com. This fic CANNOT be used for commercial purposes...got it? This fanfic is specially written for Ramza(jin xian), ivan, dave, cheryl, lavinia and jensen. If you have any suggestion on the fic, please email lionheart_sg@fantasysquare.com. DISC 1 Destiny . Love . Brotherhood "Mmm..." Squall yawned as he pulled open his curtains. He smiled as the cheerful morning sunlight greeted him, casting a golden glow across his room. He gazed out the window across the estate, deep in thought. "I'll go get Squall! He's missing breakfast!" Zell cried enthusiastically to Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie. He dashed around the corner, but slowed as he reached the top of the stairs. He walked quietly to Squall's open door, and looked in. Squall's back was to him, and Zell stood there in silent awe. The golden sun made his hair shine softly, and it cast a gentle, almost angelic aura around the SeeD. Zell remained silent, his affections for the blond pilot ever growing. Duo had long ago realized that he loved Quatre, right as the wars in The Sorceress War II had come to an end. As Ultemicia stood before him, Zell also felt a sense of hopelessness. Squall appeared an unreachable dream, an ambrosial goal unfit for those such as he. But, love him or not, Zell could no longer keep these pent up feelings inside. "...Squall..." Squall turned around, and his sea colored eyes lit up happily. He stood there, looking at Zell, who was smiling nervously. "Yes, Zell?" Squall asked when Zell did not continue. "Uhm..." Zell trailed off, wringing his hands. "Breakfast is ready! Just thought I'd tell ya! See ya downstairs!!" And with that, Zell, blushing and flustered, rushed back down to the kitchen. Squall sighed and walked over to his bureau. There, he picked up a small envelope addressed for Zell. He loked at it for a few moments, then walked into the hallway. He quietly entered Duo's room. Quatre took in the faint smell, the scent of shampoo and colonge, and frowned(He hated that brand). He gently placed the envelope on Zell's pillow and left. He quickly jogged down the stairs and skidded Zell-style into the kitchen in his socks. He blushed at the fact that everyone was looking at him strangely and sat down next to Zell. "It's about time, Squall! Selphie's about to have a coronary if she doesn't eat soon!" Quistis cried, pointing to the steaming girl with a butter knife. Squall looked to Selphie, who was rigidly drinking a shaking cup of chinese tea, her violet eyes wide as if hunger were an ever looming dragon ready to strike. Suddenly, Irvine(fom the kitchen) plopped some scrambled eggs on her plate, and Selphie moved with a jerk. She bowed his head. "Honorable ancestors...please forgive me for this dishonorable deed that I am about to commit." Selphie rose her head and took one calm look around the table. She then silently proceeded to open his mouth to speak. "YES!!!! It's about damn time!! Food! DIG IN!?" Selphie dove in, putting Zell's bad habits to shame. Zell looked at Selphie, at his food, at Squall, and stood. "Thanks, Irvine, but I think I just lost my appetite..." And with that, Zell took his cup of coffee and walked upstairs. Squall stared. Selphie stopped eating and dropped his fork. Quistis eyes got wide. Quistis nearly had a stroke. She choked on her coffee and stared at her fleeting comrade. "DUO MAXWELL losing his APPETITE?!" she sputtered, spilling her drink on the table. Irvine silently cleaned it up and stared at the chair that Zell had vacated. "It is odd that Zell refused food...hmm..maybe he's sick." "Maybe he's insane!" Quistis added. "Well, we knew that....Maybe he's possessed!" Selphie added. Squall sighed. He stood, a very slight look of annoyance on his face. "Maybe he lost his appetite watching Selphie..like I did..." Squall replied, walking off. He was headed towards Zell's room when Quistis stopped him. "Squall, that reminds me. We got a call. You and Zell are to take one more members and attack the Shinra military base about 7 miles west of here at 1000 hours. That's in one hour." Squall nodded, " Two will be enough." and continued his trek up to Zell's room. The door was open, so Squall looked in. "Hmm...cool, a letter! I wonder who it's from!" Zell replied, turning the letter over in his hands. Squall took a breath as Zell began to open the letter, then remembered Quistis message. "Zell, we have a mission, Rinao, you and I. We are to destroy the Shinra military base just 7 miles from here. We have to be there in one hour." Zell looked up from the letter and grinned. "Okie-dokie! I'll open this later! Now, let's go kick some Shinra Ass!" Zell sat the letter gently on his nightstand and followed Squall to the Ragnorok. Their mission stretched before them. End of DISC 1 DISC 2 MISSION ACCOMPLSHED "Well, the base should be right over that ridge...Zell?!" Squall cried, slightly irritated. Suddenly, Zell's solemn face flashed upon the mind of Squall. "Squall, I've got grenades under cloaking..that way, we can try to approach on the sly...but we can't do that very well with you yelling at me!" Zell grinned. Squall chuckled. Zell always knew how to relieve at least some of the tension in a battle. But, a small glimmer of metal appeared on the horizon, catching Squall's eye. "Alright. Look...there it is....let's get down to business." "That's music to my ears, Squall! Yee hah!!!" And with that remark, the two fighters engaged the oncoming horde of mobile suits and dolls. "Hey! How'd they figure us out?" Zell asked, uncloaking to attack with the grenades. Squall sighed in exasperated humor. "Perhaps because you were yelling at me." He sliced though a pair of SHINRA MOBILE X with his deadly gunblade and smiled at Zell sarcastic grin. "Ha. Ha. Ha. Veeeeery funny, Squall-" Zell's taunt was cut off as a blaster shot shot into his left arm. Both were getting pounded by blaster shots, weakening the two fighter's ability to withstand attacks. "Zell, if we don't get out of these attacks soon, we're history! Their shots are damaging our HP faster than usual!" Squall cried into Zell's ear. Zell gritted his teeth and kicked though another suit, taking some damage himself. Squall appeard on his mind, grimacing and tense as he fought off the onslaught himself. "I know! Squall! I've got an idea! I'll cast float and fight them in the air! I'll cover you while you go for the base! After all, it's always the one you don't see that gets ya!" Squall nodded, and Zell's face flicked off his mind. He was getting used to this telepathy thing Edea tought them. Out of the corner of his eye he watched SHINRA MOBILE X disappearing into stealthy flight. Squall acknowledged this as his cue and began to fight his way down while Zell protected him from above. The base was growing nearer, closer. Squall could almost feel the victory within his grasp. Suddenly, the MOBILE slashed Squall on the forehead, knocking the fighter off-course. He ignored the warm trickle of blood that ran down his forehead and turned back to the MOBILE. "Damn it, Zell, where are you?" He heard an explosion behind him as he continued his descent to the base, and Zell's worried expression popped up on his mind. "Squall, are you okay? Sorry about that, I didn't see him!" Zell asked, his heart wrenching in pain as he saw that Squall was wounded because of his blindness. His soft hair was now stained lightly with the blood that ran down his forehead. "Yeah, I'm fine, but I'm running out of HP from that last blast, and my float spells are almost up, but I trust you to protect my back as I finish my descent!" Zell nodded, and watched Squall's face disappear. As he watched the MOBILEs near the base once again and turned his own mind back to his battle, Squall's pained expression stayed fresh in his mind. Zell began to Dolphin Blow about the MOBILE, determined to protect the SeeD at all costs. He wouldn't let him down again. As MOBILE finally landed at the base, the last mobile doll, a Virgo, was destoyed by the relentless Zell. Zell turned Leo(I'm not good with robot's name) around and smugly looked around at his handiwork, not noticing the unseen Taurus that was adavancing upon Squall. "I'm about to destroy the base with my Lion Heart. Zell, why not watch one spectacular fireworks display? I knew I could count on you to watch my back!" came Squall's tense alto voice. "What the hell! Why not?" Zell turned hiself to face Squall just in time to see the Taurus charge its blaster to maximum power. "NO! Damn! Squall's blind! He can't see that!" Zell turned his mind to telephatic and screamed into it frantiucally. "SQUALL! Your left! Hurry up! There's a Taurus right there! Get out of the way!!!" Zell plunged forward, ignoring the brilliant explosion of the base. "God no! Don't let me be too late!" Zell watched in abject horror as the powerful shot of the blaster flashed out of it's barrell. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Squall turned gracefully in time to recieve the shot full in the lower torso area, just below the cockpit. Squall stumbled back, and detonated in a shower of light. "No..." As the smoke slowly began to clear, Zell saw the full extent of the damage done. The only discernable remains of Squall was a gunblade, slightly blackened and driven crookedly into the earth. Zell gaped in cold shock. He blinked slightly, and felt the slow, warm tears fall upon his chilled face. Slowly, the horror receded into raging fury, a boiling fire deep in his heart. "Bastard!" Zell cried, leaping into angered action. He plunged forward in a blinding fury of tears and hatred, flinging himself at the suit. The suit was ill-prepared for the onslaught of the raging God of Death, and watched oblivion near, trying fruitlessy to recharge it's weapon. With the fury of a typhoon, Duo brandished the MOBILEs, with a lethal My Final Heaven Combo, the symbol of death, and swung it relentlessly through the titanium hull of the suit. As they exploded in a fiery mist of heat and smoke, Zell watched with saddened and angered eyes. "Squall....you trusted me..and I failed you...you put your life in my hands, and I proved unworthy of your trust...please forgive me..." He turned his head to view the gunblade one last time, and bowed his head in silent prayer. "Squall...your kind soul has no place here in this war ridden world...and it was not worthy of you...you are finally free from all of this hatred and destruction...I hope that you find comfort...where ever you are..." And with that, Zell lifted the ragnorok into the sky. He had no reason to stay any longer. "Mission....accomplished..." End of DISC 2 DISC 3 HOPE.LIFE.MIRACLES Home...it wouldn't be the same without Squall...it wasn't even his own home, and Zell felt odd to be staying in a place that was no longer his. Zell hopped dejectedly onto the catwalk that stretched in front of Ragnorok's cockpit. He looked around at all the vehicles. There was a gaping hole where Ragnorok once stood, and it seemed to cause the hole in his heart to grow even more. Zell looked away, and silently walked towards the door that led to the estate. Zell sighed as he opened the door. True, the war was over, and they had no longer needed to stay here, for it had been a safe house during After The Second Sorceress War, but now that they were only destroying the rebels that remained, Squall's estate was no longer needed as a place to hide, and it was not unusual to see SeeDs coming to speak to Squall. 'But not anymore...now it's just another home...it's my fault that Squall's gone...only mine...' He walked into the kitchen and silently poured himself a glass of water. Rinoa walked in at the time, and nodded in his direction. "Mission successful?" she asked quietly. Zell stopped for a moment, then nodded as he took another sip of water. Rinoa immediately knew something was wrong, and made sure not to step on tender ground. Rinoa took a small step forward. "Where's Squall? What does he think about the victory?" Zell shrugged and looked down to his feet. "I don't know....I'll never know...he's dead..." Rinoa looked like she'd been slapped in the face. She stared at Zell as she out his glass in the sink, silent as Death himself. "Dead?" "Yes...I was too late to save him..his HP was low, so I was to watch guard and warn him of any oncoming enemies or kill them myself as he destroyed the base. Both of us were in pretty bad shape from the amount of hits we took, and his was worse for the wear because I missed one that hit him hard...so when the Taurus suit snuck up on us and fired as he destroyed the base....I saw it too late....it's my fault he's dead..." Zell walked past Rinoa, nothing more to say. He trudged down the hall past Quistis, who noticed Zell, but noticed his dark mood and decided that her questions about the mission could wait. Selphie had seen him fly into the hangar without Squall, and she guessed what had happened. Although she was saddened,s he would not let anyone think she was a weakling, even if one of her best friends were dead. Rinoa walked silently into Quistis computer room, where Quistis sat tappingon her lap top silently. Quistis turned around and gave her a scrutinizing look. "What's wrong?" "Squall...died..." Quistis sat there, emotionless. Her cold face showed no sympathy, but inside, her heart was in her throat. "That's..the risk we SeeDs take..when we go into battle....we can get killed at any time..in any place...Squall made the ultimate sacrifice for the cause..." Zell walked into his room, and flopped on the bed. His eyes drifted across his room to his clock. It was 4:00 p.m. He laid stretched out for a while, his eyes closed. His cheeks were streaked with silent tears, and he was glad for the serenity. His mind wandered back to the beginnings of the day, and shuddered as another silent sob wracked his weary body. "Why did I have to be so blind?" Zell's eyes turend to the nightstand, where his lamp, clock, a framed picture, and a half-opened envelope sat undisturbed. He reached for the letter and gently tore open the seal. He pulled out a small piece of paper that was enscribed with delicate cursive pensmenship. Zell's eyes went wide as he read. "Oh....oh, no...Squall, why didn't you tell me before...." Zell, Perhaps I shouldn't be saying this...or maybe I should..I just hope that this doesn't change our friendship if my assumptions are wrong. I'm not sure how to put this at all, but maybe a more straightforward answer will do. I don't know how long I have loved you, Zell. It is not as simple as that. I don't know what reaction you will have to this, but I sincerely hope that it is not one of scorn or hatred. I checked our family background...and I found out...you were...Laguna's illegimate child. That makes you my brother. I guess its the sense of brotherhood that made me so protective over you, not love. Brother, I hope...someday...just someday...you'll call me "big brother". -Squall Leonhart April 27 2002 Duo sank onto his bed, the letter shaking in his hands, the other cradling his face in silent sad realization. "Oh...just as death has followed me...life has cursed me...I have unknowingly destroyed any joy that would have come...with my own ignorance and blindness..." Zell arose, the letter still shaking in his trembling, sweaty palm. He put it gently into his pocket and slowly walked downstairs and into the kitchen. He nodded silently at to Rinoa, who was stretched out on the couch deep in thought. Quistis was at her laptop, but was listlessly tapping a few keys on the keyboard. Zell got some crackers from the cabinet and a small block of cheddar cheese from the refridgerator. He took a glass and poured himself some Dr. Pepper, then put it back and opened the silverware drawer. The last thing he got before returning upstairs was the sharpest knife he could find. He picked up his snack and headed back up to his room. No questions were asked. DISC 4 BIG BROTHER, GOODBYE Nngh..." As he stood up and looked around, an overwhelming pain overtook his numbed senses, a pain that radiated up his arm. He looked painfully at his arm, and saw that his arm was horribly broken; the bone of his arm stabbed out of his thin shirt, covering it in warm red blood. He shuddered, and prayed that he could find medical attention soon. He tried to push the pain out of his mind as he looked out upon the smoldering ruins of the base, the gentle, smoky wind ruffling his dusty blond hair. He cradled his arm, which was twisted at a nasty angle. He looked at it once more. "Broken from the jump..I suspect...the fall from Ragnorok's cockpit was so far that I must've been knocked unconscious right as Zell attacked the Taurus...oh, Zell..I could see your rage in your rash actions...You must not have noticed my escape from death...I knew it was going to go even as I detstroyed the base..." Squall watched the huge mass of junk surrounding him, and his heart wrenched with sorrow. His gaze drifted to the gargantuan scimitars of his gunblade, blackened and abandoned. He walked dazedly over to them and ran a gentle, longing hand across the smooth metal of the blade. Squall turned to face the nearby highway. He hung his head low, so he wouldn't be recognized so easily, and stepped onto the shoulder of the road. Silently, he began the long 7 mile trek to his home, where he could get medical attention and make sure that Zell and the others weren't totally freaking out. The notion made Squall smile. Quistis and Selphie freaking out was a funny thought. He also thought about their reactions, and firmly decided that he needed to get home as quickly as possible. He began to run, ignoring the searing pain that jolted up his fractured arm. The trees sprouted up on both sides oh the long stretch of highway, tall green pines. Squall's home was tucked deep in one of these extensive forests. He knew that it would take until dusk to get home on foot, perhaps longer with his injuries, but he kept on going. "I hope I'm not too late.." he thought as he sprinted in the direction of the estate. It seemed like an eternity before Squall reached his destination. He stood at the head of the long drive that wound through the spruces, dirty, tired, and gritting his teeth grimly from the pain that he had to endure. "Finally..." he replied breathlessly, looking painfully up at the swiftly darkening sky. He firmly ignored the warm fresh blood that accompanied his broken appendage, the bane of his journey. His dress shirt was torn right above the elbow where the slightly red bone stabbed out of his flesh. Slowly he began to trudge down the long walkway, wincing as the pain grew. The first person he heard was Selphie, who appeared to be practicing her limit break. It was hard for Squall to make out from so far away; the girl appeared a mere ant to him. Then came Rinoa's voice, laced with uncharacteristic panic. "SELPHIE! Get up here QUICK!" It was coming from the house. Squall caught a glimple of Selphie as she rushed inside, far up on the drive. Suddenly, Squall shuddered and fell to his knees. His arm was causing him greater pain with each step. He took a deep breath and struggled to stand. He staggared to his feet, wiped the sheen of pain-induced sweat from his brow, and continued his trek. "Boy, is this ever gonna hurt in the morning..." he mused weakly as he dragged his feet up the granite steps. He raised his hand and knocked on the large white double doors. He heard the loud pounding of hard footfalls and smiled. "Perhaps Zell isn't as distraught as I thought...I don't know whether to be relived or insulted.." But all hopes of that were shattered as the door opened, and a paniced and frightened Rinoa Heartility stood there. "Hey, Rinoa...mind if I join the party?" Squall smiled tiredly. Rinoa stared, painc mingled with overwhelming surprise in her jade eyes. "Squall!? But Zell said that-" "I managed to survive...I'm fine..with the exception of a nasty broken arm...how are Zell and the others?" Rinoa looked away, silent, then turned to walk up the stairs. Squall walked in and closed the door behind him and waited for Rinoa's answer. "..Rinoa?" "He's up here...but I'm afraid that you may not like it..." Squall was silent. He felt a twinge of fright curl in his stomach, but decieded to not jump to conclusions. He would see what was wrong in a few. But still..he couldn't shake the feeling of dread. He followed behind Rinoa, and a bitter smell wafted into his nose. Squall made a disgusted face, but the scent only grew stronger with every step. Finally, the outline of Zell's doorway appeared, the door standing wide open. 'That's unususal..Zell never leaves his door open...' Squall thought. A few seconds later, Quistis and Selphie appeared from the door. They stared at Squall, who gave them a weak smile. "But how did he-" Selphie's question was cut off with a wave of Rinoa's hand. "I'll explain...Squall, go ahead...we've taken care of the situation...I'll close the door behind you..." Squall nodded silently, and walked in. As the door closed softly, Squall gasped at what he saw. "Oh...oh, God no..." DISC 5 MAYBE I'M A LION Squall stared at the horrific scene. This was not the Zell he knew, not at all. And Squall could also clearly identify the name and source of the bitter smell. It was blood. Zell lay on his bed, a small sharp knife bloodied and discarded laying near his right hand. His blankets and sheets were saturated by the dark red river of life, wet and warm. His arms were smeared with red up to the formerly white edges of his sleeves. Across his chest were various slash marks, each staining the black fabric dark crimson, One hand was thrown haphazradly over his stomach, covering his slashed wrist. His usually tidy hair was unbound, the ends stuck to his body by the red liquid. His wide, bright amethyst eyes were now fluttering and dull, as if he was blind, plunged into darkness. It sickened Squall's heart to see this deep pain in Zell, the optimistic and cheerful American boy who had won his heart oh so easily. He hurried to the bedside, tears threatening to invade his brave eyes. Oh, Zell..why, why would you throw your life away? How could you do this to yourself?" Squall's voice was not one of scorn, but of deep sorrow. "You have so much here in life...surely this is not the only escape you could find...please...tell me why..." The boy bowed his head, then looked up as a slightly warm hand touched his own. Zell was looking upon Squallwith wide, pained eyes, questions floating in his expression. "S-squall? But..you're dead....I saw it..it was my fault...this must be heaven...otherwise..I couldn't....be speaking to you...but why is there pain here...?" Zell shuddered, and closed his eyes briefly. A tear fell down Squall's face as he shook his head solemnly. "No, brother..this isn't heaven..." "Then it must be hell..only fitting for those like me...it would explain your tears and my pain..." "No, Zell...we're alive...I'm alive...I escaped...I'm fine....but you..what could've possessed you to-" Squall's eyes fell on Zell's bloodied left hand, which held a crumpled, bloodstained letter in an iron grip. "My letter....Zell..was it because of my letter? Oh..this is all my fault...Zell..how can you ever forgive me...I never meant to cause you so much pain..." Zell shook his head weakly. "No..Squall...this letter...the truth...it was what I wanted to hear from your mouth..for so long...when you wrote this...you had no idea that you'd be considered dead when I read this..." Realization dawned on Squall's mind. In Zell's greatest defeat, he had won his greatest victory. Both of them had. Zell was his brother, just as he had prayed that he would, and now, that they were in danger of separation, they had grown an ever strong bond, one that could not be destroyed by death. Theboyt looked deep into Zell's dull, pained violet eyes, and carefully leaned down. Gently, he brushed the hair falling onto Zell's forehead. "Big brother..." And with that, Zell's eyes closed into calm unconsciousness, a sweet small smile upon his pale features. The sirens of an ambulance echoed in the distance, and Squall gasped and clutched his arm, his eyes squeezed shut in pain as he sank to the floor.