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			[an error occurred while processing this directive]		Cheap Whiskey Disclaimer: I don’t own FF8. Martina Mcbride has all legal rights to Cheap Whiskey. Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes . . . just be an illusion Javan The death of the evil sorceress brought changes to everyone in the now shattered world. Many lives were ruined, some began, and others picked up where they left off. Countries were now just shadows of their former selves and many were leaderless. In a world like this, it is often hard to find a love that is strong and pure. It’s even harder to find a love that lasted through the wars. One man, who belonged to such a world, sat and contemplated the workings of the heart one gloomy October night, trying to piece together his shattered heart. He had such a love, once upon a time. One that was innocent and true, one he believed would last for the rest of his life. He was skilled in women, yes, but not in the art of love. He used to be a risk taker, but didn’t enjoy taking betting on deals he might lose. Then he found one who made every risk worth while. He sits all alone in his easy chair Staring back on his lost yesterdays Long before he encountered the bottle And the demons that drove her away His affection was placed on one girl with whom he had admired from afar ever since he was a child. This girl was none other then Selphie Tilmit. He loved that she could manage a cheery face for any one who looked down, even with the world in shambles. He loved that she still slept with a teddy bear and got up early on Saturday’s to eat sugared cereal and watch cartoons. He loved that she managed to keep her innocence despite all they had been through. It pained him that she didn’t recognize him when they were reacquainted on the front steps of Galbadia Garden. She had occupied every thought of his for the past twelve years, but hadn’t even given him a second glance. And then even when she did remember, it wasn’t all he hoped for, what he needed. He needed to be loved, but kept his innocence for the one he would want to wake up beside in the morning. Under the pressure of his friends, Irvine Kinnease, the resident cowboy of Balamb Garden, finally asked his childhood sweetheart to go to a bar one night. He would never forget how Selphie’s eyes lit up with joy and surprise. He couldn’t help but laugh as his fairyland pixie giggled with delight. ***Flashback**** The bar they went to was one that Irvine had frequented many times. The bartender quickly greeted the couple and led them to Irvine’s usual table. Instead of ordering, they began talking. Love took root that night and brought two hearts closer together then they could have ever been. A bond was formed in that smoke filled room that couldn’t be described. A waitress walked over to there table and set down several shots and winked at Irvine. Selphie had never had hard liquor before and wasn’t prepared for the burning sensation in her throat or the unsettling feeling in her stomach. Sputtering, she glared at her date. “Why didn’t you tell me? You know I’ve never had anything to drink.” Irvine laughed as he downed his shot in one go. “Sorry babe, I didn’t think you’d actually do it. I mean, you just don’t seem like that kind of person.” Selphie smiled defiantly and ordered another shot. Following Irvine’s lead, she tried to down hers. An hour or so later, Selphie turned to her partner with her face turning a little red. “What the hells so fun about this?” Irvine leaned over and kissed her lightly on the forehead. “It loosens you up a bit. Helps you relax.” Grimacing at the taste of her drink the waitress so thoughtfully brought her, Selphie nodded. “Fine. But I’m not tense.” Irvine stood, knocking into the table, the effects of the alcohol already taking hold on him. “Then let’s go dancin’, sweetie. Show then how t’ make this dance thingie start.” Selphie giggled. “I don’ know. Ya don’t sound too well Irvy.” She began to laugh a little harder as Irvine twirled like a ballerina beside the table. “Ya gonna make a boy dance alone?” Selphie hoped up out of her seat. “I gotta pee. Let’s go back ta your dorm, cowboy.” Irvine bowed and held his hat out. “After you, my lady.” Selphie grabbed Irvine’s hat and ran off toward Irvine’s car. He followed, trying to find his keys. He cursed as he saw them sitting in the ignition of his car. He took off his shoe and began beating on the window. Selphie hopped up and down, cheering Irvine on. “Go Irvy! I gotta pee!” Irvine collapsed on the cement. “Let’s just go geta hotel room, ‘kay?” Selphie didn’t answer. She just took off at a run toward the Balamb Hotel. Irvine smirked as he followed her. In the hotel room, after they had both showered, they gave into love for the very first time. ****End flashback**** A ragged sigh escaped the older man’s lips. He hated moments like this when memories snuck up on him. It hurt almost as bad as the day she left him. It was like the day she said good-bye for the last time. In his hand he is holding her photograph Her image all tear-stained and worn Tonight he's embracing reality And he curses the day he was born He stared off into the distance, trying as hard as he could to imagine what she would look like now. The picture in his wrinkled hands must be at least twenty years old. She still had her perky smile on her face, a big bouquet of flowers in her arms, her eyes sparkling in anticipation. Love did that to her. Like the day he proposed. ****Flashback**** The day wasn’t pretty, the sky was dark and the clouds grumbled through the afternoon. Selphie was lying on her back on Irvine’s bed, counting thunder booms. “Thirteen. Fourteen.” She sat up suddenly. “Do you want to go outside? It’s raining.” Swinging her legs over the bed, almost hitting Irvine who was sitting just below her, she stood up and walked over to the window. Irvine grinned. “Selphie, rain is why we’re inside.” She ran back over to him and pulled on his arm. “Please Irvine! I want to go dance in the rain! It’s always been a dream of mine. A dream I want to share with you!” Irvine, who would have jumped off the edge of the world for his love, stood and nodded. “Ok. Let’s go get wet.” Selphie squealed and ran out of his dorm, down the hall, and was to the door leading outside before Irvine had even taken two steps. Quickly, Selphie ran back to him and grabbed onto his arm and pulled her cowboy down the hall. When they got outside, the angry storm had turned into a gentle rain. Selphie laughed as her hair became plastered to the sides of her head. She did an energetic twirl and shouted for Irvine to do the same. Feeling a little foolish, Irvine began twirling as well. They clasped hands and spun faster and faster, not aware of their appearance to the rest of the world. Suddenly, Selphie let go of Irvine’s hands and sent him flying. He landed on his butt in a muddy puddle. Selphie giggled as she ran over to Irvine. “Are you alright? I didn’t think you would go so far!” Irvine laughed as he pulled Selphie down on top of him. Mud splattered and soaking wet, Irvine thought Selphie looked more beautiful then she ever did when she dressed up for him. He reached into his overcoat pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He rolled Selphie off of his lap and squatted in front of her. He opened the box and looked into her emerald eyes with his brownish ones. “Selphie, will you marry me?” The look of shock and surprise on her face was one that Irvine would cherish forever. For a brief moment he was afraid that she would say no, but that fear was quickly remedied when Selphie threw her arms around his neck, crying her consent. ****End flashback**** Irvine sniffled as tears fell on the picture of his Selphie. She meant the world to him, always there to pick him up when he fell. She was always there to dry his tears. She was there to heal his wounds. The world slowed down whenever they were together. Every time they touched, he felt like he was given a jolt of electricity that was sent straight to his heart. No girl had ever been able to tug at his heart strings before, but Selphie knew how to play him like a guitar. Back then they thought that sex was love and that alcohol was the water of life. He told her that they would always be together to have and hold. She vowed to love him till death do they part. Everyone said they were perfect together. They were happy until someone new came into his life. ****Flash back**** The first day he started was the day Selphie had a miscarriage. They had been married two years and had tried for a baby most of those two years. When they finally conceived, their joy was short lived. Selphie was hospitalized and lost their baby. The doctor told them that sometimes these things happen and that they could try again in a few months if they so wished. Then the doctor told Irvine to go home and get some rest. He could pick his wife up in the morning. Irvine went straight home, only stopping at a liquor store to buy some whiskey. He needed to relax. The house was dark when he got home, but Irvine didn’t even bother to turn on a light. He sat at the kitchen table and drank his poison right out of the bottle. It was close to midnight when he passed out, sprawled on the floor with the glass container hanging out of his hand. In the morning, Irvine cleaned up all of the evidence of his night out, took some aspirin and took off to pick up Selphie. When they were reunited, Irvine bought some extra liquor to celebrate, or in Selphie’s case, drown their sorrows. When someone starts drinking, it often becomes hard to stop. In a world where rebels ran rampant and your own next door neighbor might be a murderer, drinking becomes more and more common. If you don’t have problems of your own, a close friend almost certainly does. ****End flashback**** The bottle sitting across the table from Irvine had been there for fifteen years today. Fifteen years had passed since the day she told him good-bye. And the darkness still echoes her warning You can't have two loves in your life Now the things that will haunt him Until the day that he dies Is the smell of cheap whiskey And the sound of goodbye How he spent his days crying did not matter today. This was her day. A day in which he could remember all that was good in their life all that stayed pure even after poison that was injected. He cringed as another memory came crashing over him like a title wave, unwanted but unstoppable. ****Flashback**** Selphie came home from the doctor’s office one brisk October morning, kicking her way through brightly colored leaves singing lullabies. Irvine ran out to greet her, to ask how the meeting went. Selphie jumped up and down with excitement when she revealed her secret. She was pregnant again and the doctor gave his own assurances that this one would live. Irvine let out a happy whoop and carried his wife inside to celebrate. Loosely translated, that meant to drink. Selphie stood by the kitchen counter glaring at him as Irvine poured a shot of something dark and downed it in one gulp. “Com’on, honey! Ya need to celebrate.” Irvine poured Selphie a shot. She marched over to the table and took the shot, marched back to her place at the sink and poured it down the drain. “I can’t Irvine. Drinking is bad for the baby. You know that. You shouldn’t drink either. It kills.” Irvine smiled. He had already been drinking before Selphie got home and was slightly drunk. “I know it kills. It kills those nasty little critters that sneak up on you when put dream. It kills nightmare that haunt you when you let your guard down. It kills memories.” Selphie’s eyes filled with tears, though she tried to hold them back “Why the hell do you want to drown memories? Has living with me been that awful? It’s been so terrible that you have to drink to forget the times we’ve had?” She picked up Irvine’s whisky bottle and smashed it against the wall. “I won’t fucking take it any more. You don’t work. You don’t even go through the motions of loving me. I don’t want to have this baby and bring it up in this environment. You go out weekly and get drunk as a fucking teenager! When will you grow the hell up?” She stormed out of the room, angry and hurt. Irvine collapsed at the table, quickly sobered by Selphie’s outbreak. He knew he had a problem, but it wasn’t a big enough problem to make her leave. His judgment was never that impaired. Never the less, she left him for his obsession. People always hypothesized that Irvine would leave Selphie for another woman. No one ever thought that Selphie would end up leaving him. Irvine pulled out a bottle from under the sink. Taking a swig, he grinned shamefully. He knew he would regret his actions in the morning. He knew he would miss his Selphie. For now, he knew he could get ride of his regret in the bottle that might cost him a marriage. ****End Flashback**** Tears filled Irvine’s eyes. He wished now that Selphie had stayed gone. He wished now she had been strong for both of them, but she was weak. She loved Irvine and was willing to give him a second chance. ****Flashback**** Irvine stood outside the hotel window looking up towards the light that shone. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get her to come to the window. He even tried Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: “What light through yonder window break? It is the east and Selphie is the sun.” It didn’t help that he was drunk and he got the directions mixed up. He thought he gave it a pretty good try, what with the last time he read that play being ten year ago. Selphie didn’t find it funny. She sat on her bed, staring at the curtains that fluttered lightly in the night breeze. She didn’t want to sacrifice her and her baby to a man who loved the drink more then her. Irvine stumbled up to the front desk and made his way to the steps. He fell halfway up and crawled to Selphie’s door. Sitting there next to the door, Irvine started singing their wedding song. “Oh, how I adore you, like no one before you. I love you just the way you are.” Selphie started to sob quietly as she heard Irvine pass out in the hallway. ****End flashback**** Pain was all he knew any more. That night, he could have changed everything and helped Selphie raise their son to be strong and proud, but he didn’t. Irvine looked at the next picture in his stack. It depicted his son, Conner. Seven months old. He didn’t have an actual color picture. Just a clip from the newspaper. Since the hour that she left he's been sober And each breath that he draws makes him think About the light of his life gone forever When he traded her love for a drink ****Flashback**** When he woke up the next morning, Irvine found himself in his bed with a warm body next to him. He rolled over and found Selphie looking back in his eyes. “I’m sorry Selphie. I shouldn’t have. . .” Selphie shook her head slightly. “It isn’t your entire fault. But I need you now. We need you.” She smiled as he ran his hand over her slightly protruding stomach. “I will Selphie. I promise to always be there for both you and our baby. Nothing will ever come between us again. Today I’ll go out and get a job. As an expecting mommy, you need to stay home and rest,” Selphie giggled like she used to do beck when they were dating. With eyes shining, she kissed her cowboy. “I’ll finally be pampered?” Irvine held her tightly. “Pampered? I don’t think so little lady. I don’t do pampering.” Selphie laid her head against his chest and complained. “But, I want breakfast in bed, flowers in a vase, chocolate, and cute little teddy bears.” Stroking her hair, Irvine murmured in her hair, “Anything for my sunshine.” Later that afternoon, Irvine took the picture of Selphie that haunted his every thought. Selphie was standing in front of their house. In her arms was a bouquet of flowers her husband had picked. ****End flashback**** In a fit of rage, Irvine flung his arm out and knocked the bottle off the table. It had stood in that place for fifteen years, mocking him relentlessly. The glass broke into hundreds of small sharp pieces. Just like his marriage did. He bent down to pick up the glass and let loose a string of curses when he cut his finger. The blood squirted out like water from a faucet. Irvine stuck it in his mouth and sucked. ****Flashback**** “Irvine!” Selphie shrieked from their bedroom. Irvine quickly stuck the bottle behind the couch and ran up the stairs to see what Selphie wanted. She was lying in a puddle of sweat holding tight to the sheets. “Baby. . . coming now.” She gritted through clenched teeth. Without a second thought, Irvine swept Selphie up in his arms and carried her to their car. He laid her down in the backseat and climbed into the front seat. With a squeal of tires, Irvine sped down the high way, the liquor taking effect. Had Selphie been aware of her surroundings, she would have most likely demanded he stop, but she wasn’t. Irvine spun around the corner and pulled into the hospital parking lot. Selphie was ushered into a private room. The doctor asked Irvine if he wanted Selphie to be tranquilized. Irvine shook his head. Selphie had told him that she wanted her baby to be born naturally. The doctor smiled and gestured for Irvine to enter the hospital room. “She’ll need you there between contractions.” Nodding distractedly, Irvine started for the elevator door. “I’ll be there soon. Tell ‘er I went for a walk.” And he did go for a walk. He walked right across the street and into the bar. He sat on a stool and motioned for the bar tender he knew personally. “M’wife is havin’ a baby. Need a drink.” Zell shook his head. “Irvine. I’m to going to let you drink now. You do entirely too much. You’re already as drunk as hell. I won’t let you miss this. You and Selphie have tried so hard.” Irvine banged his fist against the bar. “What the hell do I gotta do ta get a little service ‘round here?” He stood, slurred slightly. He grabbed the beer of the person sitting next to him and chugged it. “See? I’m alight.” “Alight?” Zell looked at Irvine. “You’re drunk.” Irvine grinned as he stood on the stool and started stripping. Zell rolled his eye as he pulled Irvine down and took him to the back room to cool down. *** Selphie managed to get through birth without her love beside her. Instead of squeezing the hell out of Irvine’s hand, Squall and Rinoa were there to help her through. When Selphie was resting from her last contraction, Rinoa turned to Squall. “I’m going to Zell’s bar. You stay here with Selphie. When I find that cowboy, I’ll kill him.” Squall nodded his head. Irvine should be here to witness the birth of his son, not friends they hadn’t talked to in years. When she was finally done and had her baby in her arms, Selphie looked up at Squall. “Where is Irvine? I want him to see our son. We have to name him.” Squall smiled. “You name him, ok honey? Irvine will be here later. He’s . . .out.” Selphie tried to choke back her tears, but her eyes misted over anyway. “He’s at Zell’s, isn’t he.” Squall nodded his head, wishing Rinoa was here to deal with Selphie. He never was good with words, despite Rinoa’s coaching. Selphie wiped her tears away. “Fine. I’ll name him Conner. That sounds like a good name, right Squall?” She looked up at him, hoping for approval. “Yes. That’s a perfect name.” A voice from the door came. Quistis walked in, followed by Seifer. Selphie began to cry again, this time from joy. “You’re all here. You all came.” ****End Flashback**** Irvine glared at his still bleeding finger. On it was the taste of whiskey, left over from years past. And the darkness still echoes her warning You can't have two loves in your life Now the things that will haunt him Until the day that he dies Is the smell of cheap whiskey And the sound of goodbye Quistis had told him about Conner’s birth with small add-ins by Squall. Both had looked at him with such disgust that he felt sick. Almost as bad as he had when Rinoa found him. ****Flashback**** Irvine was spinning himself sick on a bar stool, a pint of beer in his hand, singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to some guy named Ben. Rinoa marched up to the counter. Zell walked over and grinned at her. “Hey, Rin. Haven’t seen you since, wow, forever ago. What can I get you?” Rinoa glared and pointed at Irvine. “Whatever you got him.” Zell looked up when he heard the deadly tone in Rinoa’s voice. “Hey, calm down. I tried to stop him, but he began stealing from paying customers. It was bad for business.” Rinoa walked over and stopped Irvine in mid-verse. “This man,” She started, supporting Irvine with all her strength, “Has a wife across the street giving birth to his child and you, Zell Dintch, are over here getting him drunk off his ass because it’s good for business?” Zell held up his hands, as if he were fending off a physical attack from the young woman. “Sorry. Is she all right?” Rinoa nodded her head and drug Irvine out the door, periodically dropping him in puddles, ect. When they made it to Selphie’s room, she was asleep. Rinoa collapsed in a chair and started to cry. Squall walked up from down the hall. “Do you want me to take him home?” Rinoa nodded her head. “Ok. I’ll be back a little later.” ****End flashback***** Irvine managed to pick himself off the floor. He crawled over to his chair and pulled himself up. Selphie had forgiven him once again. She couldn’t withstand his promises and tears, even after the ones he already broken and shed. He curled into a ball, knowing what memory would come next. It always does. If only he hadn’t broken that bottle. . . No. He couldn’t think like that. Selphie’s sacrifice had assured that he would never drink again. ****Flashback***** When Conner turned seven months old, Selphie grew fed up with his broken promises. He begged her to stay, but nothing worked. She finally had the strength to stand up to him. She had the strength to stand tall for all three of them. He cried trough her packing, promising to change. Begging for her another chance. Tears streamed down her face, leaving trails down her cheeks. She put Conner in the backseat of their car, in his car seat and fastened him in tightly. She turned to say her last words to her husband. “I can’t take it anymore Irvine. I have for so long, put there has to be a boundary for everything. You passed mine.” Irvine grabbed at her arm, but she pulled away. “You can’t have two loves in your life.” She climbed in the car and drove slowly down the road. Irvine stood, until he couldn’t see them any more. Then he went inside to drown his sorrow in a bottle of whiskey. The next morning he awoke with the same buzzing in his head as he stumbled over to the sink to get some aspirin. As an after thought, he turned on the news. In shock he sat down as he saw what was on the screen, then he bent over and threw up. ****End flashback**** The picture of his son was one Rinoa donated to the newspapers. Selphie had given it to her. The only pictures he had of his family was an old, yellowing picture of Selphie before Conner’s birth, and two newspaper clippings from the obituary page of the Balamb Times. That night, when Selphie left him, she and Conner were killed in a car accident. One caused by a drunk driver. The young woman who had done the driving came out without a scratch, but his wife and son had died. The truck the woman drove had veered off the road and ran Selphie’s small car off the road and into a tree. Unfortunately, they didn’t die instantly. In fact, the woman could have saved them if she had pulled to the side of the road and called an ambulance. The car caught fire. Another stupid passer by stood and watched the inferno. Selphie was pinned to the front seat and couldn’t save herself or Conner. People were drawn to the site by the sound of Conner’s crying, but none could help. An ambulance was finally called, but it was too late. They were both consumed by flames. No matter what friends said, Irvine blamed himself. It was his fault that Selphie was on the road that night. He was a drinker and frequently drove drunk. All that changed that morning fifteen years ago. His last bottle of whiskey stood on the table, but he swore never to touch it. That included moving it. The only time Irvine came out of his house was the day they sentenced the woman who killed Selphie and Conner to life in prison. All of his friends saw him buy several dozen yellow roses, Selphie’s favorite flower, and a bunch of daffodils to place on his family’s graves. No one came to comfort Irvine. They all knew nothing could be done to save his soul. He was lost. When Selphie died, she took with him everything he had to live for. She took innocence, sugared cereal, Saturday cartoons, flowers, and anything kind and innocent. She took everything except the smell of cheap whiskey and the sound of goodbye. The smell of cheap whiskey And the sound of goodbye *********************************************************************** A/N: R&R please. I don’t hate Irvine, he just fit the part.   « Back [an error occurred while processing this directive]